Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:

• Is jealous or possessive toward you.

• Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.

• Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.

• Is violent and/or loses his or her temper quickly.

• Pressures you sexually and demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.

• Abuses drugs or alcohol.

• Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state.

• Blames you when he or she mistreats you.

• Has a history of bad relationships.

• Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well-being.

• You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.

• Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, whether privately or around family and friends.

• Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.

• Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.

• Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress into drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.

• You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.

• You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.

If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, seek assistance immediately from a counsellor or social worker who can assist you. Abuse only escalates over time and the 'honeymoon' period between violent outbursts gets shorter and shorter.